Please do not buy into the belief that the holidays are a self-fulfilled prophecy for eating habits tinted by all sorts of head-hanging moments of frustration or self-defeat. In fact, the holidays are a wonderful time to practice key skills and cultivate key qualities that will raise your confidence dramatically.
Over the years I've been able to track the qualities that separate the on-again-off-again eaters from those who feel empowered around food.
If the holidays tend to stress you out around food, take these words to heart:
~ Notice how your body feels when you eat ~
One of the quickest ways to empower yourself around food and eating is to notice how your body feels when you eat. There will be certain foods and certain amounts that feel great. And there'll be certain foods and amounts that don't. The more you show up in your body and FEEL, the more skilled you'll get at eating just the right amount and type of food and leave the table feeling pretty well.
~ Decide how you want to feel ahead of time ~
When it comes to holiday meals with family and loved ones, decide how you'd like to feel prior to the meal. Then ask yourself, "what way of eating will support me feeling that way?" It is a question I offer often to those working on their eating. It's an empowering question and reminds us that we get to name how we'd like to feel and then make choices that feel supportive of that.
~ Untangle unhelpful sin/repent thinking ~
Don't buy into the idea that the holidays are a time to go unconscious with eating because the New Year will give you an opportunity to crash diet or eat perfectly "clean." This is often coupled with the belief that one meal can "ruin" a diet so one holiday meal is viewed as "ruining" things, instigating a feeling of defeat, leading to further unwanted eating habits. This whole thing needs to get untangled. The best solution is to eat as if there were no option for a New Years' resolution diet plan and stay awake at the table these last eight weeks of year.
~ Continue to practice emotional self-soothing, body care, and emotional regulation ~
The more a person is able to identify and care for their emotions, the better their relationship with food will be. If you cannot tolerate what's happening in your emotional world and the sensations in your body, you might turn to food to distract you or shift your physiological state. We all do this from time to time. Therapy/coaching, somatic work, yoga, breathing practices, meditation, journaling, painting, dream work, loving touch, hanging out with loving people, getting some sleep, and self-compassion (among many others) help us draw on and cultivate deeper resources expanding our window of tolerance.
With love & respect,
Laura
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