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What’s getting in the way of sexy?

“I want to feel sexy.”

Rarely does a woman come in for a first session listing this as the reason she’s meeting with me.

Most initial sessions are focused some type of eating habit, health concern, or challenging life circumstance.

But one instance that comes to mind…

A client sat down in front of me for a first appointment, and flat out said, “I want to be hot.”

For some, this is pretty low on the priority list. Bigger fish to fry so they say…

For others, wanting to ‘be hot’ is REAL…and difficult to own.

For those caught in the conflict, there’s usually a few things going on at the same time.

  • wanting to embody sex appeal

  • wanting to get really motivated

  • wanting to lose weight

  • wanting to feel admired and desired

  • wanting to feel self love, beyond physical appearance

Our desire for physical beauty is likely distorted because we are inundated with massive amounts of advertising, telling us what sexy is and isn’t, leaving most women feeling inadequate. (Because as you know, there is far less money to be made from a women who feels at the very least, adequate).

Women who are impacted negatively by this sort of inundation usually react one of two ways: Either crafting a life that revolves around looking good, losing weight, and staying young OR angrily pushing back against this and suppressing their natural femininity.

In both cases there is little freedom.

In both cases we have given our power away.

So how can we move toward embodying a different sort of femininity, one that stands the test of time and feels good?

Getting into Right Relationship with the feminine.

The feminine embodies so much, but today, I’ll say the feminine represents what is NATURAL.

The feminine is physical matter itself from the food we choose to nourish ourselves with, to the planet we live on, to the bodies we inhabit in this lifetime.

The feminine in all it’s forms wants to be seen, cherished, admired, and respected.

Part of this work of healing the feminine, invites us to cherish, appreciate, and care for ourselves.

Moving towards this means we must also face the things that are getting in the way of it.

This will take us on a journey straight into our personal history, our romantic relationships, any history of trauma, and the collective exploitation and suppression of the feminine.

So I find in these conversations I often have with clients around eating, nutrition, weight, and self-care sometimes take a gentle turn into thoughtful dialogue around femininity. Lots of energy there….

I invite you into continued conversation around this with other women in your life or with me, if you so choose.

With love and respect,


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