Why do I eat when I'm not hungry?

Many people have the nutritional goal of eating only when they’re hungry and never turning to food for any other reason. "I only want to view food as fuel" -- sound familiar? As admirable as this sounds, you and I both know this isn’t as realistic as one might hope. Many of us ask food to do several jobs for us (outside of fueling the body). This can feel stressful for people that are trying to get their eating “in order,” but remember, human beings have needs. And it feels good to meet our needs. When we begin to give food non-food jobs in excess that's usually when things go astray. Today, we'll be exploring some common reasons people (and maybe you) reach for food when hunger is not present:

Why You Eat when You're not Hungry

• You're not actually enjoying your regular meals: If there's a regular absence of pleasure in your meals, (or presence to enjoy your food) it's not uncommon to try to fulfill the need for pleasure or satisfaction through snacking or eating beyond satiation

• Boredom: Without knowing how to fill one's time or simply tolerate the ebbs in life, food can seem like an "interesting" distraction

• Overwhelm, pressure, or stress: If you are lacking practices to calm or regulate your system, reaching for food would make sense in the presence of stress

• As a panic response when flooded by a painful emotion (shame, worthlessness, helplessness): In IFS therapy, reaching for food, especially in an intense way like binge eating, is a psychically protective way - a sort of last defense - to keep intense emotions from flooding a person out

• As a mini “vacation” from grinding away at a task: If you are used to pushing through without breaks or permission to say "enough" for the day, reaching for food can provide small "islands of pleasure" as a substitute for a legitimate break

• Exhaustion: Not sleeping well? Running on chronic little energy? Cravigns for food, especially carb-rich, caffeine-containing, or sugar-rich foods, make sense as the body searches for energy it does not have

• Curiosity to taste or try something: It's normal to want to have a taste of something, even when not hungry

• Other people are eating: Without awareness of the needs of the body, it can be easy to rely on social cueing to eat.

• To transition from one part of the day to another: Some people are still learning how to shift from the energy of the workday to the energy of home life, or the energy from the weekend to the energy of the workweek. Often overlooked, a need for skillful transitions, can mitigate reaching for food

• Novelty or entertainment: People have varying degrees of need for novelty or entertainment. Without exploring and meeting needs in this way, food can take on a burdened role to entertain.

Your Eating Habits Make Sense

Examined closely enough, our eating habits always make sense. Many of us are simply trying to meet our needs, whether conscious of it or not. Things tend to move in a healing direction when we realize, for example, “I’m actually tired” and rest for a while instead of eating food in an attempt to gain energy and push through. Or a person learns how to be more available and caring for their true feelings and emotions than stuffing them down. Or a person who continually reaches for sugar, learns how to create and meals that are legitimately satisfying or enacts more legitimate self-compassion and kindness toward themselves.

“The symptom holds the cure” is a popular saying in depth psychology. There’s real wisdom in this. Somewhere inside the unwanted habit is also a seed of the truth.

With love & respect,

Laura

If you'd like to learn how to eat well, feel great, and then move on with your life (meaning less rumination, micro-management, anxiety, etc.) take my 3-month Eating Psychology training: Heal Your Eating. Start this month and be proactive in changing the future of your relationship with food.

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