Why I had Ice Cream for Breakfast

Integrity. Here’s a word I come back to again and again as it resonates with me at a core level. How can we live more in integrity? What are the markers for living OUT OF integrity? Today I am going to share a story about eating, deeper messages, and the practice of personal integrity. I write with hope you find a piece that resonates and challenges you… During part of our summer months, I noticed my regular diet was becoming less and less satisfying. My interest in meals that my body and I looked forward to so much, my chia pudding, smoothies, monster salads, and other creative healthful meals… Nope. Nothing was satisfying to me anymore. I didn’t want those foods. I noticed an old, familiar pulsation of rebellion growing inside me. I only wanted rich, sweet, or carbohydrate-heavy foods. But even when I had dessert more frequently after meals or incorporated more “comfort foods,” (as I lovingly encourage my clients to practice as needed) they still didn’t seem to satisfy. They weren’t enough. It became clear that this was NOT a matter of permission-based eating. Deeper Work My experience of food dissatisfaction was occurring in tandem with some new challenges in my life. Something was working its way through me. Although I was aware that this had very little to do with the food itself, my inner experience was making itself known through my eating experience – a common occurrence for people in general. Feeling pretty stuck, I made a decision to move with the current rather than against it. A symbolic gesture if you will, working within the context of food as a gateway… On one particular morning, I drove to the store and picked up a pint of ice cream. “Upgraded” ice cream wouldn’t do, though. No coconut milk ice cream, no rice milk ice cream, no ice cream made out of frozen bananas. I needed full dairy Ben & Jerry’s ice cream from any old grocery store to start my day. I got home, sat on my couch and ate half of that pint for breakfast, enjoying every bite of it. With a little breathing room and loads of curiosity, personal insights ensued… Another thought for a moment… The Rebel I cannot stress enough, the importance of claiming and dialoguing with ALL parts of ourselves. When we neglect any part of ourself, it will be sure to get our attention in some form. Nutritionally speaking, this includes both the Food Moralist and the Food Rebel. My Inner Rebel was getting my attention. Have you ever experienced something similar? Here’s my suggestion for engaging WITH the workings of the Inner Rebel: Integrate The Rebel consciously into your life. See the wisdom of The Rebel more as a necessary energy working it’s way through you. The Rebel is not an enemy. Benefits of The Rebel energy What are the life-affirming qualities of The Rebel? This is the question we need to be asking. Maybe your Rebel champions freedom, expression, pleasure, or non-conformity. Maybe your rebel is your inner-adolescent self who is longing for a playful, curious, passionate, emotive, or innocent way of relating to the world again. Maybe The Rebel is calling you to look at any areas outside of food that you are feeling self-contained, oppressed, or restricted. My own call to indulge my Inner Rebel had been asking me to work with any remaining feelings of oppression and containment that may have been contributing to a feeling of stuck-ness in my life. Within the challenge, is the medicine… I will leave you with this challenge: Listen to the messages of your own rebellious impulses. Ask for support. Bring integrity to the table…all of who you are. With love, Laura