4 Secrets of Happy Women

Happy women keep it real. They are authentic, powerful, soft, feminine, fierce, and vulnerable. As women continue the journey of fully integrating all parts of themselves, they unwittingly regulate their appetites, fire up their metabolism, turn to food less, and say “yes” to life more! Happy Women: 1.) Focus on their own pleasure When we are young women, we focus on pleasure from the outside in. “Do they think I’m interesting? Does he/she find me attractive? How much do ‘they’ say I’m allowed to eat?” The majority of our pleasure was received through affirmation, from someone else letting us know “we’re okay.” If you are in your late 20’s or beyond, great news: It’s time for you to call the shots! There is nothing more striking than a woman who takes ownership of her own pleasure. Food is only a piece of the pleasure puzzle. Consider the following: The pleasure of adorning oneself with jewelry or clothing. The pleasure of eating a blueberry simply because you desire it and nothing more. The pleasure of interaction, laughter, and story. The pleasure of intimacy and sensation. The pleasure of taste, texture, and color. The pleasure of movement, expression, and Nature. The pleasure of standing up for what you believe in. Pleasure is your birthright! Claim it. Seek it out. Create it. Enjoy it. If food tends to be one of the only things that brings you pleasure, you are missing out on so much. Integrate pleasure into your daily life, and witness appetite regulate itself naturally! 2.) Give their gift It doesn’t matter if you write a killer blog, bake like nobody’s business, can put together amazing wardrobes, or teach what inspires you, being connected with your gift (and GIVING it) is nourishment for the soul. When I was in NYC years ago at The Institute for Integrative Nutrition, speaker and writer, Victoria Moran encouraged the group to discover what their “free square” was. “Free Square” meaning that spot on your bingo board that you get without trying. Everyone is born with a free square, yet it’s often taken for granted. What’s your free square? What has Life asked you to gift us with? Ask your friends for insight. Give it freely. 3.) Trust themselves Trusting oneself is a practice. Having self-trust is being bold enough to say “no” when others are saying “yes.” Self-trust allows us to ask ourselves, “How was that for me? What was my experience with that person?” and then listen, trust, and explore the answer if necessary. Self-trust allows us to accept an appetite that can change dramatically from one day to the next. It also allows us to make decisions without needing input from every person on our contact list. A fabulous place to work with trust is in the realm of hunger and appetite. If you are suspicious of your appetite or try to control it, you may also be fighting the natural flow and trust of life itself. Making friends with your appetite can be one of the most powerful catalysts toward an empowered relationship with food. 4.) Allow anger Women still have a hard time expressing anger effectively. Many times we suppress anger and the fiery energy within us turns against itself and self-attacks. As spiritual writer, Thomas Moore, shares in his brilliant book Dark Nights of the Soul, “Not dealing effectively with anger can stifle joy and make you look and feel only half alive…if you can’t get angry, you and those around you don’t know who you are. They don’t know how you feel, not do they understand the limits of your tolerance. Anger gives you borders and definition.” A happy woman claims all parts of herself. She is vibrant and whole. I’m specifically using anger as an example, as many women feel the need to be overly “nice,” yet anger and frustration looms in the background. Is it any wonder that these women may chronically self-attack or have perfectionist tendencies? Angry energy doesn’t go away. If not effectively navigated, anger can go underground and create dis-ease in the mind and body. Take action: Is there one area mentioned here that you’d like to give more attention? What would it take to get the ball rolling? Want one-on-one support? Contact me here and let’s talk. With love, Laura