Perfectionism with diet for women, explained

Laura Burkett
38 minutes ago
2 min read

Here's something I hope you find curious...

The women I know that generally accept themselves the most have an easier time eating well or making changes to eat well, sustainably. And the women I know that accept themselves the least often have a more difficult time eating well or making changes to eat well, sustainably. Why do you think that is?

Perfectionism, explained

Many women that are struggling with their body or their eating, deep down, are often struggling with perfectionism - of having to get it totally right.

Why would a woman feel she needs to get it totally right?

Because a part of her thinks that getting it totally right is the only way she can FEEL better. And often thinks (not always) that she

will feel better, because she will LOOK better/look different.The issue is, somewhere under the back and forth pattern of trying to be PERFECT (finding the right eating routine, cutting out the right things, etc.) and never living up to that ideal (because life will inevitably bring an imperfect circumstance or eating habit) the undercurrent is shame; Shame that how I feel and who I am at my core is not okay.

If my unconscious strategy to keep me away from shame is to dial in my eating or change my body, then any "imperfect" moment eating, getting dressed, trying on clothes, weighing the body, or seeing myself in photos, will carry significant, and sometimes debilitating, psychic weight. In other words, A TON will be on the line each time you eat, get dressed, or weigh your body.

This is what contributes to the common pattern that goes like this: I ate well and stuck with the plan for a while, then I messed up, and threw in the towel. I blew the day so might as well keep going.It's very polarized. I'm either perfect or I'm not. I cannot tolerate an imperfect day, I cannot tolerate it so part of me makes it a miserable day. Then I aim to start over and make tomorrow a perfect day.

Becoming human; Becoming whole

But we cannot sustainably maintain a psychological split like this. As Jung has suggested, the psyche is on a gradient toward wholeness (not perfection). Being whole, implies being human (something, as I've said, that perfectionism cannot tolerate). And being human implies acceptance of imperfections, and loving oneself anyways. This is what helps us keep growing in a more down-to-earth way. Imagine healing or dissolving the underlying shame. Imagine the larger implication, not only for your eating, but for your relationships and your life.

That you are you and that there has never been anything wrong with you.Remember, what seems like an eating problem or a body image problem is often a big psychological Invitation to redeem the feminine, the value of BEING, of FEELING, the value of one's own fullness and humanity. Doing this work is far from resignation. It's about restoring your own sense of dignity and moving through life, through body and nutrition care, and through relationships from THAT place.