Why Working with your Eating has Depth

If you look at what a person eats and how a person eats, you might think that you can identify a person’s overall beliefs and value systems around food. Though I’ve found the motives and belief systems that drive eating far more nuanced.

For example, I might choose to eat protein bars for breakfast, Qdoba for lunch during a work break, and take-out vegetable curry for dinner. I might resent having to prepare much of anything for my body and feel fine relying on easy options. Or I might feel empowered because the simple choices I am making are upgrades to what I may have chosen in the past. Or perhaps I used to be rigid with my eating, and this is a display of some new inner flexibility on a particularly busy workday.

I might prefer to eat with other people. Or I might choose to eat when alone. When around others I might slow down and enjoy the relational experience as well as the enjoyment of sharing of food. Or I might forget myself and my body unconsciously follow the whims of others’ eating habits to fit in. If I choose to eat mainly when alone, I might love the solitude and presence I can give my meal. Or I might have space to unconsciously act out my neurotic behaviors with food without the eyes or judgment of others around me.

I might choose to eat 35g of protein at breakfast as an act of kindness and discipline for more balanced blood sugar throughout the day. Or I might eat 35g of protein at breakfast because I dislike my body very much and hope to finally change it so I can finally accept myself.

Why working with your eating has depth

Working with our eating is quite deep. I mean “deep” in the sense of what you are observing

The people that work with the inner workings that drive their eating choices, are those whose new habits often last the longest, because they are in integrity with themselves, inside and out.

superficially, the behaviors and habits on the outside, might give little insight to INNER drives and motivations. The people that work with the inner workings that drive their eating choices, are those whose new habits often last the longest, because they are in integrity with themselves, inside and out.

Working with eating is a healing art, because in doing so I may be 1.) confronted by my own limitations around self-acceptance and 2.) may be called to work with areas I've avoided self-responsibility in my growth. Not loving everything about yourself or your appearance yet still treating yourself with dignity, care, and respect is worthy inner work. As is accepting that you may have to inconvenience yourself to take care of your body as a grown-up and find reasonable and workable ways to make that happen. Both are pathways to healing.

Familial and cultural burdens

Our belief systems are also shaped by those that came before us and the culture we were born into. For example, if your mother could not accept her own body, hunger, and feelings, a part of her may have directed her inner rejection onto your growing, wanting, feeling body. You may find you’ve internalized a general agitation toward and rejection of your emotions, your appetite, and your body composition, and in turn may have done a lot to control yourself and your body over the years. Addiction of all kinds may not be far off, as it is painful to feel ongoing shame for one’s naturalness. The anger and grief underneath this can feel big, as it may come from a long history rejection of the feminine that may have been passed down through one’s matrilineal line. And though anger may be directed at one’s own mother, she herself was born into a culture that held its particular views about emotion, women, appearance, etc… So, this is another layer to feel through. It’s helpful, albeit painful at times, to explore how your own inner world was shaped by the women in your family and the cultural burdens many women carried throughout the generations via patriarchal attitudes.

Loving energy is the way

This is why loving energy is the only way. Loving energy can express as conscious grief, righteous anger, self-compassion, witnessing, creative output, feeling fully within a loving container, allowing oneself to be visible not having it all together, and so on.

If you’ve ever struggled with your eating or attitude toward yourself and your body, given all I’ve briefly laid out above, how would it make sense to not offer yourself some form of compassion, acknowledging that suffering or struggling is not an inherent character defect, but a doorway to growth and healing.

This is why all seemingly simple acts of nutritional and body care, enacting the proper use of one’s will, and acts of kindness can actually be quite deep and meaningful. This generally requires people to unburden the young compliant/rebellious-type attitudes carried within and move in the direction of growth.

With love & respect,

Laura

[You can inquire about session availability here or register for Laura's 3-month eating psychology training, Heal Your Eating here]

Laura Burkett Gutierrez, MA, has been in private practice for the past 17 years. She holds a Masters degree in Transpersonal Psychology and is a certified L-3 practitioner of Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy and holds multiple certifications in the fields of Integrative and Holistic Nutrition, Eating Psychology, and Depth Psychology.